Ashgabat - The Too Perfect City

The Too Perfect City - Ashgabat

Where do I even begin to describe my first stop on this road trip? The only possible description would be that of a city that is almost too perfect. Robotic and planned. Beautiful but empty. Eyes that are constantly watching you every move.

Tall white marble buildings line either side of the careless streets. In the distance more white marble structures protrude from the ground as a stark contrast to the surrounding desert landscape. 

here are so many strange things that we felt while being here that is probably best I do not publish them all. However, here are a few interesting facts about Ashgabat and Turkmenistan that seem ok to share at this time. Up until his death in 2006 the former president Saparmyrat Niyazov created many rules and laws. Beards were prohibited as well as listening to music in the car. Fountains spring up in every little park because he thought they were cool.  Giant statues and building formed to eternalize his Golden Age as totalitarian ruler. Did I mention he even renamed the months and days to be those of family and friends?

The city has been rebuilt from the ground up after a shattering level 9 earthquake in 1948 that killed 2/3 of the population. It was then rebuilt in the Soviet style under Russian control. However, once gaining independence and using the vast wealth the country has gained through natural gas the city has been coated in marble and gold. Many describe it as the love child of Las Vegas and Pyongyang. By day people work smile less as robotic machines while also constantly patrolling to make sure we follow the rules. At night the city lights up as bright as Vegas. 

 

 

As we made our way through the city one thing became apparent, no one was around except government workers. Many of the structures had military that stood guard watching what you were doing. Street cleaners polished the already perfectly cleaned streets. We were the sole people doing anything enjoyable out of a city of over one million inhabitants. At moments it feels as if someone has created a virtual reality city made of marble and stuck us in the game during pause.

The city has a bunch of ministries but the most entertaining would have to be the Ministry of Horses and the Ministry of carpets. Horses are on many symbols and buildings through the country but the irony is during our entire stay we have not seen a single horse. This includes our 12 plus hours of driving through country sides. 

In the afternoon we had lunch at the Tolkuchka Bazaar, now renamed Altyn Asyr Market, and shopped around. Before anyone could even think about it our local guide Max warned us that we could not take any photos. I chose to have a traditional dish of plov made u of some meat, rice, and carrots. I would share a photo but even pictures of my food were prohibited. 

For dinner we went to a popular restaurant and all got to know each other. Four hours later, some meat BBQ, and a few drinks we were ready to go on our night tour. 

The night sky line lit up in the brightest neon colors. Some stayed light the same color while others rotated through from pinks to blues to greens. Again, it was stranger to see this city on display for no one. Our group began to make many jokes but very quietly as we were warned that all of our conversations were being listened to.

Finally, we ended our night back at the hotel with some dancing. For the dignity of Lee I will to share the story but let's say our group all had a good laugh at the events that happened to him.