This was my first writing the night I arrived at my placement. I have left it unaltered to finally share how much if a personal struggle it was my first night. Be at ease to know my feelings completely changed other the days that followed this writing!
Not to scare my friends and family but I have no idea why in the world I came here!! What was I thinking?? Who was I to think that I could travel halfway across the world by myself and manage to volunteer in a third world country? Let me rehash what just happened after my arrival in Pokhara.
The taxi took me up the winding road to who knows where after dropping all of my friends off. The rain was really coming downs and everything looked very depressing. Did I make the wrong choice by picking Pokhara or Nepal in general. This is not what I was expecting.
We reached a flat area up the hill and the taxi made a turn down a winding, dirt, rock road. The taxi bumped around and bottomed out quite a few times. After about fifteen minutes the taxi came to a halt and the driver looked and me and said "the road no good, you walk the rest." Oh geez! I got my bag and slowly slipped down the muddy, rocky road heading nowhere.
Finally I reached and area with a building to my right that appeared to be the school. A face popped out and greeted me! Wahoo thank goodness I am where I belong. The following half hour was a blur of being ushered into dirty rooms, kids saying hello, sitting in the office while people chatted quickly in Nepali.
My host father is named Aatma and he is the principal of the school. He introduced me to his son Amish, Akash, and Amita. Another boy who I am not sure who he is carried my bag and I made my way to the house. The walk was very interesting. It was so foggy I could barely see a thing expect for a giant tree shrouded in fog in the distance.
Reaching the house up a steep hill I could see my new home for the coming weeks. Bright pink and green with a shed for cooking it looked quite cute. The next hour becomes a b,use again as my bags are set in my room and the kids start going through my stuff. With no reserve they grab ,y clothes, camera, iPad, and other feminine products and inspect them carefully!!! The kids yell and hit each other as they fight over the things they discover! Ahhhh get off my stuff please! I almost lost it when the 4 year old pulls out my tampons and tries sticking it up his nose.
Without warning we left to go to a family birthday party of Amish and his cousin Ashim. Walking up the path we eventually came to another house and went up to the roof. Here there are women cooking in a hut in the Corning and a chicken running around. The next two hours was filled with power cuts, chopping up an entire chicken, eating corn that was rolled to me across the floor, watching people stare at me while I wasn't introduced, eating with my hands, blessing people with tikka, and just a whole lot of chaos as I tried to learn names of this relative who was related to this person and that.
Overwhelming is the only way to describe it. The rain was pouring down and we headed back to the house in the pitch black. Back at the house we watched a little television and Aatma told me all about how he wants to go to America and questioned me intently about my salary at home. The children crawled kn me and showed me pictures of past volunteers.
Currently I'm lying in bed listening to a mouse underneath my bed. I'm not sure how I feel. I really want to be in the city with my friends having fun. Why in the world did I think this would be a good idea and how would I survive this. Sadly I'm counting down the days until I leave and can go to the monastery placement!
I am not sure where to brush my teeth. I just used my flashlight to look out the window and make sure the coast was clear and brush them that way. Ahhhh
Sorry for the information but the toilet is literally a squat hole in a closet. How in the world would I ever be able to use this thing. Well the time had come and I didn't have much choice. I ventured int the dark space with my flash light and tried to muster up their courage. Fail! I just couldn't do it and I retreated back to my room. Take two was an equal fail. It had to be done and I could only think of one way... Play some pump up music. I out in my headphones and blasted some Eye of the Tiger. I mean is there a better pump up ding? Probably not. Lets just say if Rocky can do his thing to this song so can I? Miele Jeetay (I win!)
**** almost four weeks later
Due to the lack of communication and Internet I was not able to post this immediately. Also I did not want to alarm anyone about my unhappiness.
Looking back on the situation now I have to laugh. Yes it is true that is was a new experience and such an overwhelming experience. Being alone really made anything multiply!
I would not change a thing!
The following days as you may have read really turned around. I started getting used to the life. Although the living quality is so different the people made it what it was, a beautiful experience. I was very fortunate to get placed alone and forced to be immersed in the culture. I tested my boundaries and learn slot about myself and the people.
The people I met the first night have become some if my close friends here. It's funny looking back and remembering that I had met the, that first day! Is crazy!
The kids are still very grabby and personal space is a thing of the past. However now it's a part of my daily routine and I've come to appreciate such simple things. The yelling I mother morning comes as the best wake up call. The food is simply delicious and eating with my hands is quite liberating.
Really the only thing I can say is I was very lucky to be forced into such an experience. Finding out that they other volunteers were in guest houses or unwelcoming home stays in the city made me only appreciate it more. My experience was authentic! I ended up staying two extra weeks in the village and starting a fundraising program to build and paint the school. It's safe to say I will now cry when I leave this place!!!!
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